Sunday, October 28, 2012

Helpful Tips to Kiss a Girl for the First Time


Kissing a girl for the first time is one of the special moments in a guy’s life. While many guys make good use of the opportunity, others may flop or lose miserably. It is indeed an art to learn how to kiss a girl so that both the individuals feel good and not the boy alone. Some simple preparations and easy-to-follow steps should help you get proficient in this direction.

Is She Ready to Kiss?

You can’t think of kissing a girl who is still a stranger to you. If the girl in your company has started feeling comfortable being with you, it can be a good sign for you to approach. Many girls wish their boyfriends to kiss, but don’t admit it verbally. Such girls show some definite signs to show their willingness. For example, a girl may lean and lay her head on the guy’s shoulder. She may smile when the guy holds her hand or feel shy when the guy calls her name in a romantic tone. Be ready to catch such actions and start looking for the right time to kiss.

Getting Ready to Kiss

As it will be your first kiss, you must make some good preparations. First of all, you must have a fresh breath as a foul breath may turn off the girl’s mood completely and forever. A good body odor should also be among the positive points of your personality. Secondly, you must have a hygienic appearance from top to toe. A girl will never like to be intimate with unhygienic guys. You must treat dry lips if you have them.

Another important preparation is to learn how to control your excitement, fear or nervousness. You may experience any of these emotions owing to the fact that it is going to be your first kiss. However, you need to act like a man of the event and hide all such emotions that might overpower and spoil the moment.

Choosing the Right Venue

The type of environment or surroundings plays an important role for getting successful in kissing a girl for the first time. Kissing while enjoying sunset at a beach can be on good spot. Sitting around a camp fir and getting aroused for a kiss is something that none of the two can resist. You must carefully choose the place where the girl feels comfortable to support the romantic endeavor. If you are planning to kiss a girl in your own room, you must be confident about the girl’s belief in you. Such an attempt should not indicate a wrong sign to your girl.

Approaching the Right Way

You must start by sitting close to her and see whether she is comfortable with the same or not. Next, a proper eye contact should help you progress. You can also read in her eye whether she is willing to get involved in a kiss or not. Another good idea is to touch her hand or arm and see how she responds. Once you get a positive response, you must advance further and lean forward slowly to kiss her. It should be a gentle kiss with your lips making a slight contact with hers.
If you experience no resistance, you can make the further move and open your lips to start a French kiss. Decide whether you wish to use your tongue for the same or not. Your hands play an important role in the process. You can stroke her hair or fix your hand at the back of her neck. Another good thing is to keep your eyes closed to fully enjoy the first kiss.
The girl should be in complete comfort while kissing and after that. Be polite and caring in your approach and pile up the post-kissing moments in a way that no guilt surfaces in anyone’s mind.

How to Kiss a Girl for the First Time


Kissing a girl for the first time can be both nerve wrecking and rewarding. The first kiss in a first date, the first kiss in a relation ship; or just kissing a girl for the first time can be very scary, but just do it. Life is too short.


Steps
  1. 1
    Make sure you have good breath! The girl doesn't want to taste garlic after the kiss, as this can be a major turn off. Before the date or when you see her, brush your teeth and tongue and use mouth wash! To maintain good breath try drinking water on the date instead of soft drink and suck on a mint. Not an over powering mint though, something nice like orange Tic Tacs.


  2. 2
    Flirt a little! Tell her that what she is wearing looks pretty; she will appreciate it! If she playfully punches you a lot or teases you in a friendly manner, then she wants you to touch her. Stay in safe territory like quickly grabbing her hand when you want to go show her something; she will appreciate not having the whole awkward looking at each other and blushing. If you are brave you could put your arm around her waist when you two are laughing and say something playful like "You're so cute".
  3. 3
    Realize that it's hard to determine when it is the right time to kiss. Usually its when you are saying goodbye, or it could just be when you both are looking into each others eyes. Approach her slowly and carefully entwine your arms around her waist, if she moves away then politely ask if somethings wrong. If she is not ready yet, respect that and try to change the subject. If she lets you then slowly pull her body against yours tilt your head to prepare for the kiss.
  4. 4
    Make sure you close your eyes! Start with a loose closed mouth kiss. Once your lips touch, cup her face with your hand and slowly stroke her cheek with your thumb, make sure you still have one arm firm around her waist or lower back. Now slightly open your lips and put them around her lower lip and trace your tongue across it. That should be enough for the first kiss, so slowly pull away and open your eyes.
  5. 5
    Don't be afraid! If she puts a bit of her tongue into your mouth then slowly slide your tongue between her lips, let them touch a bit, then gently pull out again. This should only go on for a little while, you don't want too much for the first kiss.


Tips

  • Don't be too upset if she doesn't want to kiss, there will always be more opportunities!
  • Do not have chapped lips, scrub them with a bit of sugar to get the dead skin off.
  • Try not to be nervous, just let go!
  • Right before your lips touch, swallow excess spit and lightly lick your lip to make them moist.

Muslim boy names

Name Gender Meaning

Aaban

Male Name of the Angel.

Aadil

Male Just, Upright.

Aafiya

Male Good Health.

Aahil

Male Prince.      

Aalam

Male World.                          

Aalee

Male Sublime, high.

Aalim

Male Religious Scholar.

Aamil

Male Doer, Work man.

Aamir

Male Civilised.

Aamirah

Male Inhabitant

Aaqib

Male Follower.

Aaqil

Male Intelligent.

Aarif

Male Knowing, aware.

Aariz

Male Respectable man.

Aashif

Male Bold, courageous.

Aashir

Male Living.

Aasif

Male An able minister.

Aasim

Male Person who keeps away from sins.

Aatif

Male Kind Affectionate.

Aazim

Male Determined.

Abaan

Male Old Arabic name

Aban

Male Old Arabic name

Abbas

Male Description of a lion

Abbud

Male Worshipper

Abbudin

Male Worshippers

Abd Al-Ala

Male Slave of the High.

Abdul Aalee

Male Servant of the Most High.

Abdul Adl

Male Servant of the Just

Abdul Afuw

Male Slave of the one who pardons.

Abdul Ahad

Male Servant of the One

Abdul Aleem

Male Servant of the Omniscient.

Abdul Ali

Male Slave of the High one.

Abdul Alim

Male Servant of the Omniscient

Abdul Aliyy

Male Servant of the Most High

Abdul Awwal

Male Slave of the First One.

Abdul Azeez

Male The servant of the most powerful.

Abdul Azim

Male Servant of the Mighty

Abdul Aziz

Male Servant of the Powerful (Dear) One

Abdul Baari

Male Servant of the Creator.

Abdul Baasit

Male Servant of the Extender and Creator.

Abdul Badee

Male Slave of the originator.

Abdul Badi

Male Servant of the Incomparable

Abdul Baith

Male Servant of the Resurrector

Abdul Baqi

Male Servant of the Everlasting

Abdul Bari

Male Servant of the Creator

Abdul Barr

Male Servant of the Source of All Goodness

Abdul Baseer

Male Slave of the All-seeing.

Abdul Basir

Male Servant of the All Seeing

Abdul Basit

Male Servant of the Extender

Abdul Batin

Male Slave of the unseen.

Abdul Fattah

Male Servant of the Opener (of the gates of sustenance)

Abdul Ghafaar

Male Servant of the Forgiver

Abdul Ghaffar

Male Servant of the Forgiver

Abdul Ghafoor

Male Servant of the Forgiver

Abdul Ghafur

Male Servant of the Forgiving

Abdul Ghani

Male Servant of the Self Sufficient

Abdul Hadi

Male Servant of the Guide

Abdul Hafeez

Male Slave of the Protector.

Abdul Hafiz

Male Servant of the Protector

Abdul Hakam

Male Servant of the Arbitrator

Abdul Hakeem

Male Servant of the Wise

Abdul Hakim

Male Servant of the Wise One

Abdul Haleem

Male Servant of the Mild and Patient

Abdul Halim

Male Servant of the Patient One

Abdul Hameed

Male Servant of the Praiseworthy and the Ever-Praised

Abdul Hamid

Male Servant of the Praised One

Abdul Hannan

Male Slave of the Merciful.

Abdul Haq

Male Servant of the Truth

Abdul Haqq

Male Servant of the Truth

Abdul Haseeb

Male Servant of the Respected and Esteemed

Abdul Hasib

Male Servant of the Respected, Esteemed

Abdul Hayy

Male Servant of the Living

Abdul Jabaar

Male Servant of the Mighty.

Abdul Jabbar

Male Servant of the Compeller

Abdul Jaleel

Male Servant of the Great and Revered

Abdul Jalil

Male Servant of the Great, Revered One

Abdul Jawwad

Male Slave of the Bountiful.

Abdul Kabir

Male Slave of the Great.

Abdul Kareem

Male Servant of the Noble and Generous

Abdul Karim

Male Servant of the Noble, Generous One

Abdul Khabir

Male Servant of the Aware

Abdul Khaliq

Male Servant of the Creator

Abdul Lateef

Male Servant of the Kind

Abdul Latif

Male Servant of the Kind One

Abdul Maajid

Male Slave of the Excellence.

Abdul Maalik

Male Slave of the Master, the Lord.

Abdul Majeed

Male Servant of the Glorious

Abdul Majid

Male Servant of the Glorious One

Abdul Malik

Male Servant of the Master (or King)

Abdul Mani

Male Slave of one who prevents.

Abdul Mannan

Male Slave of the Benefactor.

Abdul Mateen

Male Slave of the Firm.

Abdul Matin

Male Servant of the Firm, Strong

Abdul Mubdee

Male Slave of the Originator.

Abdul Mubdi

Male Servant of the Originator

Abdul Mueed

Male Slave of the Restorer, the Reproducer.

Abdul Mughni

Male Servant of the Enricher

Abdul Muhaimin

Male Servant of the Supervising, the Guardian, the Protector

Abdul Muhaymin

Male Slave of the Protector.

Abdul Muhsi

Male Servant of the Reckoner

Muslim Names and their Meanings

Name Gender Meaning
Aalee Male Sublime, high.
Aalimah Female Scholar, Authority.
Aaminah Female Secured, Safe.
Aani Fatimah Khatoon Female She was a literary woman and a poetess in Qastaniniyah.
Aatiqah Female Shoulder (support) old.
Abd Al-Ala Male Slave of the High.
Abdul Aalee Male Servant of the Most High.
Abdul Adl Male Servant of the Just
Abdul Afuw Male Slave of the one who pardons.
Abdul Ahad Male Servant of the One
Abdul Aleem Male Servant of the Omniscient.
Abdul Ali Male Slave of the High one.
Abdul Alim Male Servant of the Omniscient
Abdul Aliyy Male Servant of the Most High
Abdul Awwal Male Slave of the First One.
Abdul Azim Male Servant of the Mighty
Abdul Aziz Male Servant of the Powerful (Dear) One
Abdul Baari Male Servant of the Creator.
Abdul Baasit Male Servant of the Extender and Creator.
Abdul Badee Male Slave of the originator.
Abdul Badi Male Servant of the Incomparable
Abdul Baith Male Servant of the Resurrector
Abdul Baqi Male Servant of the Everlasting
Abdul Bari Male Servant of the Creator
Abdul Barr Male Servant of the Source of All Goodness
Abdul Baseer Male Slave of the All-seeing.
Abdul Basir Male Servant of the All Seeing
Abdul Basit Male Servant of the Extender
Abdul Batin Male Slave of the unseen.
Abdul Fattah Male Servant of the Opener (of the gates of sustenance)
Abdul Ghafaar Male Servant of the Forgiver
Abdul Ghaffar Male Servant of the Forgiver
Abdul Ghafoor Male Servant of the Forgiver
Abdul Ghafur Male Servant of the Forgiving
Abdul Ghani Male Servant of the Self Sufficient
Abdul Hadi Male Servant of the Guide
Abdul Hafeez Male Slave of the Protector.
Abdul Hafiz Male Servant of the Protector
Abdul Hakam Male Servant of the Arbitrator
Abdul Hakeem Male Servant of the Wise
Abdul Hakim Male Servant of the Wise One
Abdul Haleem Male Servant of the Mild and Patient
Abdul Halim Male Servant of the Patient One
Abdul Hameed Male Servant of the Praiseworthy and the Ever-Praised
Abdul Hamid Male Servant of the Praised One
Abdul Hannan Male Slave of the Merciful.
Abdul Haq Male Servant of the Truth
Abdul Haqq Male Servant of the Truth
Abdul Haseeb Male Servant of the Respected and Esteemed
Abdul Hasib Male Servant of the Respected, Esteemed
Abdul Hayy Male Servant of the Living
Abdul Jabaar Male Servant of the Mighty.
Abdul Jabbar Male Servant of the Compeller
Abdul Jaleel Male Servant of the Great and Revered
Abdul Jalil Male Servant of the Great, Revered One
Abdul Jawwad Male Slave of the Bountiful.
Abdul Kabir Male Slave of the Great.
Abdul Kareem Male Servant of the Noble and Generous
Abdul Karim Male Servant of the Noble, Generous One
Abdul Khabir Male Servant of the Aware
Abdul Khaliq Male Servant of the Creator
Abdul Lateef Male Servant of the Kind
Abdul Latif Male Servant of the Kind One
Abdul Maajid Male Slave of the Excellence.
Abdul Maalik Male Slave of the Master, the Lord.
Abdul Majeed Male Servant of the Glorious
Abdul Majid Male Servant of the Glorious One
Abdul Malik Male Servant of the Master (or King)
Abdul Mani Male Slave of one who prevents.
Abdul Mannan Male Slave of the Benefactor.
Abdul Mateen Male Slave of the Firm.
Abdul Matin Male Servant of the Firm, Strong
Abdul Mubdee Male Slave of the Originator.
Abdul Mubdi Male Servant of the Originator
Abdul Mueed Male Slave of the Restorer, the Reproducer.
Abdul Mughni Male Servant of the Enricher
Abdul Muhaimin Male Servant of the Supervising, the Guardian, the Protector
Abdul Muhaymin Male Slave of the Protector.
Abdul Muhsi Male Servant of the Reckoner
Abdul Muhsin Male Slave of the Benefactor.
Abdul Muhyee Male Slave of the one who gives life and sustains it.
Abdul Muhyi Male Servant of the Giver of Life
Abdul Muid Male Servant of the Restorer
Abdul Muiz Male Servant of the Giver of Might and Glory
Abdul Muizz Male Servant of the Giver of Might and Glory
Abdul Mujeeb Male Servant of the Responder
Abdul Mujib Male Servant of the Responder
Abdul Mumin Male Servant of the Giver of Faith
Abdul Munim Male Slave of the Generous.
Abdul Muntaqim Male Slave of him who punishes wrongdoings and seizes retribution.
Abdul Muqaddim Male Servant of the Expediter
Abdul Muqeet Male Slave of the Sustainer.
Abdul Muqsit Male Slave of the Just.
Abdul Muqtadir Male Servant of the Powerful
Abdul Musawwir Male Servant of the Fashioner
Abdul Mutaal Male Servant of the Most High
Abdul Muti Male Slave of the Giver.
Abdul Nafi Male Servant of the Benefactor
Abdul Naseer Male Slave of the Helper.
Abdul Nasir Male Servant of the Helper, Protector

Saturday, October 27, 2012

How to Make a Girl Want You and Think Of You Sexually


how to make a girl want you

Are you attracted to a girl but don’t know how to get her interested in you? Use these 10 ways on how to make a girl want you sexually to do just that. By Gerry Sanders


Girls may get drawn to a guy for his personality.
But even if you’re a guy with a great personality, it’s easy to end up becoming just a friend instead of a lover.
If you want to make a girl fall in love with you, read these 10 tips on how to flirt with a girl and make her fall in love with you.
But if you want to make a girl want you and desire you sexually, read on.
How to make a girl want you
Girls love great guys who are a lot of fun to be with.
But then, there are a lot of great guys all around.
And when you’re attracted to a girl who is  drop dead gorgeous and can get the attention of any guy she wants, it’s not easy to make her desire you sexually.
But there are ways, really easy ways.
Most guys are too afraid to make a move on a girl who’s very good looking because they’re afraid to get spurned.
Don’t be one of those guys.
But when you’re trying to impress a girl you know, don’t make it obvious that you like her too soon either.
If she doesn’t like you yet, she may end up distancing herself from you to avoid any awkward moments.
Instead, behave like a friend.
10 steps to making a girl want you sexually
If you find yourself getting really attracted to a friend who’s getting a lot of attention already, you can definitely make her desire you and want you. All you need to do is play it safe and slow by using these steps to turn her on and make her want you.
#1 Be a good friend. Sometimes, behaving like a friend can be the easiest way to a girl’s heart. But there’s a very thin line between being a friend that she’s attracted to and being a friend she considers a brother.
If you want her to want you, be a good friend who’s there for her, but don’t always be there for her. Speak to her when she’s around, but make sure she sees you flirting with other girls now and then too. Don’t be the friend who’s going to give a shoulder to lean on. Instead, be the friend who talks about current events and fun things.
She’s got to love your company to start with, but she should never feel like you’re an indispensible friend. If you go wrong here, you may just end up getting into her friend zone and lose all hope of sleeping with her.
#2 Flirt with her. Try to spend time with her when she’s alone. If her other friends are with her, you can avoid her or just wave a hello and move on after a quick chat. The more you hang out with her as just a friend, the lesser the chances of you ever making her desire you.
Spend time with her only when she’s all by herself. That’ll give you enough time to date talk her and discreetly flirt with her. Flirt with her, make her feel warm and awkwardly nice while hanging out with you. And treat her just like you would treat your girlfriend, but don’t ever call her your girlfriend though.
#3 Don’t be possessive. You may like her a lot and hate all the other guys that flirt with her. But you know what, you don’t own her. And she’s not your girlfriend. So never behave possessively or prevent her from meeting or talking to other guys. You’ll end up losing her because you’ll become a creepy guy.
Instead, have your own life, but give her your time when you bump into her or have some alone time together. Don’t be stuck at her hip. She’ll never fall for you and you’ll end up becoming her doormat.
#4 Be her secret life. As I said earlier, spend a lot of time with her and flirt with her, but do that only when she’s by herself. Create a secret relationship that no one knows about other than the both of you. By doing this, you’ll make the relationship more exciting and thrilling. Become a part of her life, text her often at night when you know she’s alone, talk about personal issues, and indulge in everything a couple would do. But keep the relationship a secret.
#5 Make her miss you. Now this is tricky but also a lot of fun. Once both of you are closer and like spending time with each other, call her every night for a week or so. And then, don’t call her one day. If she meets you or texts you the next day asking why you didn’t call, she obviously missed you and wanted to speak with you!
Flirt with her and charmingly ask her if she missed you because you didn’t call. Use different ways to make her miss your company and constantly create scenarios where you force her to realize that she actually likes you and misses you when you aren’t around.
#6 Confession time. Confessions are the best way to open a girl up. Of course, she won’t start confessing about her sexual escapades to you just yet. You need to warm her up to it. During one of your late night calls, tell her that you bumped into one of your exes who was a horny wild cat.
The girl you like will obviously be curious and would want to know more about your ex. Use this excuse to go into the details of your sex life. Be patient and start funny, and get more descriptive and add explicit horny details as the conversation goes on. If you play this game carefully, speak softly and make sure you describe the events like an erotic story, she can’t help but visualize you naked. And chances are, she’ll also be wet down there just listening to you! [
#7 Talk sex. If you’ve pulled off your sexual confession without a hitch and she liked what you had to say, she’s definitely turned on now. Ask her about a horny experience from her past. She may hesitate at first, but pester her just a bit. If she’s horny, she definitely wouldn’t mind getting into details. And as she tells her stories, gasp and talk like you’re imagining the whole thing. It’s be a huge turn on for both of you.
#8 Get her to talk dirty with you. You may wonder if all these steps are even possible, but you won’t believe how easy it is to get a girl talking dirty in a nighttime conversation until you’ve tried it. Trust me, it’s really easy, as long as you’ve warmed her up with your horny stories. Now that you’ve got her confessing all her dirty deeds to you, it’s time you get yourself into the picture.
Compliment her for being such a naughty girlfriend, and discreetly tell her how awesome it would have been if you were her boyfriend. Saying that will definitely spark a fire of lust because she’ll know exactly where you’re going with the conversation. Speak softly, don’t get overexcited and don’t stop with the dirty questions.
#9 Have phone sex. If you’ve used the list of dirty questions while talking to her, chances are, both of you are already really horny. Now start creating imaginary situations to turn her on even more. Tell her something like “I wish I was there right now, there’s so much I would want to do…” And when she whispers back softly and asks you what you’d do, you’ve hit jackpot.
Describe what you’d do to her in detail, starting off from kissing her neck to taking her top off to whatever else you have in mind. Avoid talking about kissing her on the lips straight away though, it’s too personal and straightforward for a few girls. And before you know it, both of you would be talking dirty and having phone sex with each other!
#10 Ask her out. Well, so now you’ve made her want you and crave for you sexually. But what’s next? You just had phone sex with her. You’re on a high, but don’t end it right there. Ask her if she’d like to meet you, or go out on a date with you the next day. She’d be too horny to resist.
And when both of you meet up on a date, it’ll probably end with both of you having sex or falling in passionate love. Either ways, you’ve got the girl of your dreams wanting you and craving for you sexually. Could you ask for anything more?

How to Make Any Girl Want to Kiss You

Girls can be so confusing! How do you know if she wants to kiss you, and if you're not sure, how do you get her to want to kiss you, and let you know? Well here is advice that is sure to get that girl kissing you! Pucker up!

Love spells that may change your life and bring happiness today!

Steps

  1. 1
    Start by asking a girl to hang out, just the two of you. Pick a low-key activity that you can do together. If the two of you are having fun, it could slip into a kiss. It could be anything, like watching a movie, studying, getting dinner, or going snowboarding, or going for a swim.
    • Pick a location where you can get some privacy, especially if either of you don't like the idea of kissing publicly.
  2. 2
    Stay kissable! Make sure you have brushed your teeth (regularly), taken mints, or chewed gum before seeing her. If you even manage to get close enough without her holding her nose, bad breath can totally ruin a kiss!
  3. 3
    Send signals. At some point while you are together, touch her lightly on her arm or hand. This should tell her that you like her.
    • Let her know you think she's special. Compliment her on her looks, her style, her humor—let her know the things you like about her. If she compliments back, move a little closer to her.
    • If she leans in, put your arm around her.
    • If you two are positioned correctly for this (e.g., cuddling on the couch) and if you are really bold, put your hand on her thigh and move it down towards her ankle. Make sure you judge her response to your previous hints accurately before you attempt this.
  4. 4
    Focus! Look in her eyes and then briefly look at her lips. Make sure she is looking at you when you do this, and make sure you are smiling.
  5. 5
    Know if she wants to kiss. If she takes the hints and flirts back, lean in for a kiss. Don't pucker up—no fish face! Relax. If she leans away, then pull away too. You may want to put your hands on her shoulders.
    • If she turns away, that means she doesn't want to kiss! Don't attempt it again until you know she is comfortable with it and actually wants it. You may want to say sorry.
  6. 6
    If the kiss is successful, you might want to try some of the following.
    • Open your mouth wider but not too wide, and slip your tongue in her mouth. Try touching her lips with your tongue. If she responds, touch her tongue with yours.
    • Rub her lower back.
    • For the really bold, start to lean backwards so she is almost directly on top of you. Rub in between her thighs and pull up to her head.
  7. 7
    End with a nice long hug and tell her how amazing she is (as a person, not just at kissing).

How to improve your relationship

How to improve your relationship

Getty - relationship
You need to find time for each other. This is not easy if you both have hectic careers.
When things are not going well in a sexual and romantic relationship, it can really help if both partners try to understand why.
So, if you are in a relationship that's in some trouble, ask yourself the following questions.
  • What do you each want out of the relationship?
  • Do you still enjoy your life together?
  • Are you ready to sacrifice time and energy to make your relationship work again?
  • Do you still love each other?
Your answers to these questions will help you pinpoint the extent of the problem and whether or not you both have the energy and the will to make changes to improve things.
Let's look now at some common causes of relationship difficulties and ways to tackle them.

Stop the blame game

When things are going badly, couples tend to ask who is at fault and which of them is to blame. Neither of these questions is helpful.
It's better by far for both partners to accept that they share joint responsibility for the relationship and to agree that when they are having problems they should work at them together.
Dr Jack Dominian, who – until his retirement – was one of the UK’s leading relationship psychiatrists, always says that if couples want to improve their relationships, they should ban the phrase: 'The trouble with you is …' This is good advice!

Find time to work on your relationship

In today's busy, modern world, you need to find time for each other. This is not easy if you both have hectic careers and becomes even more difficult when you have children.
But if you have established that you both have a will to make things better, you need to look at your joint schedules and find time when you can be together.
If you don't find time, improvement will be slow or non-existent.
But if you can make time to talk and to be together, you may well overcome your difficulties.

Change the way you communicate

Frequently, couples stop making an effort with each other. They may even insult each other or take each other for granted.
Suppose the door bell rings. One partner may yell at the other: 'Get that will you?' It doesn't take much effort to add the word 'please' or to ask in a different way, such as: 'Would you mind answering the door?'
This may sound a small point, and maybe an old-fashioned one, but when couples bellow demands at each other, it sounds abrasive and disrespectful.
When aggression becomes a habit, it can seriously damage the romance in a relationship.
The key thing here is that you should make sure you show each other the respect that you did when you first met.

Make an effort for each other

Lack of respect can also be shown in appearances. It's sad that couples often stop making an effort with how they look.
A small thing like changing work clothes for something brighter for dinner – and the woman putting on some make-up and the man having a shave – can transform a routine evening into more of an occasion.

Try the 10-minute rule

Men often say: 'She just wants to go on and on about things, and it drives me mad.' While women say: 'We never talk.' Both parties cannot be right!
If you and your partner are struggling to discuss the things that matter to you both, it's a good idea to deploy the 10-minute rule.
  • One partner has his or her say for 10 minutes. During this time the other partner listens intently and does not interrupt.
  • After 10 minutes, the second partner takes the floor for 10 minutes. Men, in particular, appreciate the chance to have their say without interruption and with the guarantee that the conversation will not go on all night.
  • After both of you have had your say, have a further 10 minutes between you.
  • The whole discussion should be over in 30 minutes.
  • If both parties agree to carry on with the conversation, that's fine, but it should never go on for more than an hour.
If you both know that you have limited time, you will be more concise, and hopefully spare each other any histrionic behaviour.

Have an evening out

Try to have one evening out per week, just the two of you. If you have children this is more difficult to arrange, but it's not impossible. And when you have this 'date', avoid talking about your offspring or work.

Socialise as a couple

Another good thing to do is to make sure that you get some friends round on a regular basis, even if it's just for a takeaway or supper round the kitchen table.
You'll have a good laugh, and if these friends have known you since the beginning of your relationship, it will remind you of happier days and you'll feel younger and more carefree.

Call in the professionals

If your relationship is in real trouble and none of the above suggestions help significantly, you might want to consider having some relationship therapy.
The obvious place to go for this in the UK is relate, who offer low-cost, face-to-face counseling. Additionally, they offer email or phone counseling.
No matter where you live in the UK, there is likely to be a branch of Relate near you.
You can also opt to go to a private therapist. This will cost more, but usually allow you to be more in control of when you go, how many sessions you have and so on.

And what about sex?

It is unlikely that a sex life in trouble will improve greatly if work is not put in on the whole relationship.
Of course, there are times when both partners may be steamed up and the sex works wonderfully. But apart from these spontaneous and happy times, couples often complain that they don't make love as much as they did or that one or both partners have lost the urge.
Increasingly we are seeing couples – men as well as women – who have little interest in sex. Fatigue is often the main culprit here. Many people now work such long hours that they feel permanently exhausted.
Often a loss of libido can be about resentment or a pervading sense of unhappiness with the relationship itself.
For example, a man may lose interest in sex if the woman is very aggressive in bed or out, nags him to do better sexually, or if she keeps complaining that he doesn't do his share of the housework.
And a woman may feel a lack of interest sexually for similar reasons, including a perception that her man never says he loves her unless he wants sex.
She may also resent the fact that he doesn't listen to her at the end of a tough day.
So, I cannot emphasise enough that before you look at your sex life, you should look more generally at your relationship.
Having done that, there are plenty of ways in which you can liven up your sex life.
  • You might want to take turns in running the sex session. In other words, the man may make all the suggestions one night and the woman another. This often leads to much greater variety.
  • A short break away is always a good bet for enlivening a relationship. I did a survey once in which 96 per cent of women told me they felt sexier when they were on holiday – even just a short weekend break.
  • You might use fantasies, always supposing that the same sorts of things turn you on.
  • You might read erotica to each other before, or even during, sex.
  • Some couples enjoy porn together – usually DVDs of attractive couples making love.
  • Some couples like to dress up or to use vibrators or other sex toys. They might also enjoy reading sex manuals on different sexual positions, or dressing up in sexy lingerie.
There are some very good sex shops online that are attractive to women and cater for all these sorts of products. Some of the best are:
  • Passion 8
  • Sh!

What if one of us has a medical problem that's stopping sex?

The above advice assumes that neither partner has a serious sex problem, such as premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, pain during intercourse or difficulty getting an erection.
If you have a problem that makes sex difficult, there are therapists who can help and there are articles on all these conditions elsewhere on this website.

When to seek professional help

If you think your sex-life has become stale and boring, and none of the above suggestions appeal, you might also benefit from some sex therapy.
Some therapists specialise in helping couples by teaching them techniques where intercourse is banned for a while so that the couple can enjoy touching, stroking and other forms of love play. This can have a dramatic effect on a flagging relationship.
If you want to contact a specialist in sex and relationship therapy, go to someone properly qualified such as:
  • a Relate counsellor who is trained in psychosexual matters
  • a private therapist who is a fully accredited member of the College for Sexual and Relationship Therapy.
  • a doctor who is a member of the Institute of Psychosexual Medicine.

And what if a partner's had an affair?

Finally, you may be reading this article because one of you has had an affair, and you are now trying to rebuild your relationship in and out of bed.
This will be a rocky time for you, so some Relate or other relationship counselling could prove beneficial.
Also, do read an excellent book that should help you both called 'After the Affair' by Julia Cole, published by Vermilion.
You need to rebuild trust too, so please realise that things are unlikely to improve instantly. These things take time, but are well worth working at.

5 easy ways to make your relationship stronger

5 easy ways to make your relationship stronger

How to make your relationship better

These five quick tips will make any relationship stronger. If you’re fed up of fighting, tired of trust issues or just plain bored, read these five tips to make your relationship better:  

Make your relationship better by addressing old issues 

Fights, jealousy and previous misdemeanors upset our little bubble of romance and can make relationships a tricky minefield. If you find yourself constantly arguing over the same issues, or blowing up in anger over the smallest of triggers, it may be because you and your partner have not addressed some old issues. Next time this happens, try to stay calm and work out why you have reacted in this way. If you recognise that you are angry about something that has happened in the past it is time to be brave and sit down with your partner to discuss it. Try not to accuse them. Instead talk through the problem, being as clear as possible about the way you feel. Try to look them in the eyes, as this helps build trust and intimacy. Once you’ve talked through your feelings attempt to work out a solution together. Although it may take a long time to heal this unresolved issue, if you feel you cannot forgive the person, it may be time to walk away. These issues will only continue to repeat themselves. 

Make your relationship better by taking time out 

Between going to work, keeping fit and doing chores, it can be difficult to find the time to spend some decent time with your partner. In the UK alone, a typical childless couple only spends an average of two and a half hours a day with their partner, and of that time nearly an entire hour is spent watching TV. If that sounds familiar it’s time to make some changes. Firstly, have a TV ban and take your partner on some dates. If you’re struggling for ideas, pretend that you are going on your first few dates. Where would you take a guy or girl to impress them; a romantic hillside spot for a picnic or a trendy bar to see a new band? Choose locations that allow you both to talk to one another and ideally that are new to you both. Sharing new experiences will help reinvigorate your love life and will bring you both closer together. Remember, these dates are all about fun, so enjoy it. 
Make your relationship stronger

Make your relationship better by changing gender 

The opposite sex can seem like a different species. Men and women have different habits, ideals and needs. Therefore it’s no surprise that we often find it difficult to get along with each other. The key to a good relationship is to understand that we are not alike. We will not always share the same attitudes or perspectives. So, the next time your guy tells you that you are overreacting, or your girl tells you that you don’t care, listen to them. Instead of exploding with rage at their idiocy, ask them why they think that and actually take what they say on board. You then need to explain, clearly and calmly, why you think otherwise. This is not to say that you should use their gender as an excuse when they treat you badly. However, trying to get into one another’s mindset and understanding why your partner acts in a certain way may help you overcome many nasty obstacles and end a lot of fights. 

Make your relationship better by getting more sex

Sex can be a chore. After a long day at work do we really want someone getting hot and sweaty on us? We could have another 20 minutes in bed! Yet, the more we do it the more we want it. So at times, although it sounds very unromantic, it can be best to just power through and do it a few times a week. Once you’ve combated your reluctance, you’ll reap all of the benefits. Not only are there zillions of health perks to having regular sex, your relationship will also benefit. This is because when we have sex the love drug, oxytocin, is released, which makes us build up a strong bond with the guy or girl we’re in bed with. It also promotes trust and makes us feel more generous towards one another. The best way to get more sex is to make sure you and your partner consider it to be a priority. Also try to find a time that suits you. If you get too tired to have sex before bed, try to do it in the morning or when you first get home.    

Make your relationship better by spending time apart 

Okay, we know that we are at risk of contradicting ourselves, but relationships are all about balance. So although you need to make sure you spend quality time together, it’s also not healthy to live in a two person love nest constantly.  Not only will your partner’s every move start to irritate you beyond belief, but boredom may begin to creep into your relationship. Having your own interests, social scene and hobbies will help keep you stimulated, balanced and healthy, and these qualities will inevitably also pass on into your relationship too. The trick to spending time apart is to agree with your partner how much “time off” you want to give each other. Once agreed, find something that excites you. This may be a holiday with friends, a charity challenge or training for a new event, like a 10k or marathon. Choose something that helps you develop as an individual as this will help you feel more independent and more interesting within yourself and your relationship.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Guide to Qurbani


Guide to Qurbani 

Qurbani tips

Remove your watch before Cutting. Trust me on this one.

Dress Practically. High heels in general are impractical. On a farm more so.

When you think youve washed your hands with enough soap. Wash again.

It might cross your mind that a handful of course salt and some sunlight is all you need to convert that discarded sheep skin into a comfy car seat cover. Dont be retarded.

Stop cutting once you've severed the Jugular. There is no need to behead the animal. You are not uploading an Al Qaeda audition video

When giving the sheep water, pour it into its mouth. do not sprinkle a few drops over it. You are not at a meelad

When giving the sheep water, do not try to drown it either. Put down the hose. You are not a Police officer at a Civil Rights march.

When your grandfather smiles at you affectionately and asks you if you played with the marbles, dont be snarky. He doesnt see you as a third year Bcom student. Youre still a child to him. You say 'yes Pappa', ask him to join you and immediately make dua that the senile fool doesnt take you up on it.

Qurbani is not a competition. Neither is it a speed contest. You are not serving customers at a mcdonalds drive through. So take some time to make your intention before each slaughter. And try your best to avoid letting the sheep see their fallen comrades.

The takbeer should be recited audibly, but you dont need to scream at the top of your lungs, especially if youre cutting on a farm with 20 families next to you. Simon Cowel isnt going to hand you a recording contract. Not even the Al Ansaar Bookshop. So dont be inconsiderate.

If you want to teach a kid how to grab a sheep, dont teach them when theres only two left in the pen. Sheep are dumb, but eventually it hits them that their buddies are being snatched, and they get aggressive. So unless youre uploading this to youtube for all of us to see - dont let the kid into the pen for the last two sheep.

Do you know the thing about most Ox stories... they are all the same! Yes, I know it takes six men and 9 metres of chain to subdue the animal. This is not an elimination chamber. Its an Ox, what do you expect? Ive heard my share of Ox stories. The day an Ox picks someone up and tombstone piledrives them then please let me know. Until then, please dont make me feign interest as you recall how the ox put up a fight.

I love these spur of the moment notes - this should be printed in a Muslim newspaper :)

sohel

Eid Mubaruk to all :)

How to Quit Smoking

How to Quit Smoking

A Guide to Kicking the Habit for Good

Smoking Cessation Programs
Whether you're a teen smoker or a lifetime pack-a-day smoker, quitting can be tough. But with the right game plan tailored to your needs, you can replace your smoking habits, manage your cravings, and join the millions of people who have kicked the habit for good.

Why quitting can seem so hard

Learn to recognize & reduce hidden stress



Smoking tobacco is both a psychological habit and a physical addiction. The act of smoking is ingrained as a daily ritual and, at the same time, the nicotine from cigarettes provides a temporary, and addictive, high. Eliminating that regular fix of nicotine will cause your body to experience physical withdrawal symptoms and cravings. To successfully quit smoking, you’ll need to address both the habit and the addiction by changing your behavior and dealing with nicotine withdrawal symptoms.

Relieving unpleasant and overwhelming feelings without cigarettes

Managing unpleasant feelings such as stress, depression, loneliness, fear, and anxiety are some of the most common reasons why adults smoke. When you have a bad day, it can seem like cigarettes are your only friend. Smoking can temporarily make feelings such as sadness, stress, anxiety, depression, and boredom evaporate into thin air. As much comfort as cigarettes provide, though, it’s important to remember that there are healthier (and more effective) ways to keep unpleasant feelings in check. These may include exercising, meditating, using sensory relaxation strategies, and practicing simple breathing exercises. 
For many people, an important aspect of quitting smoking is to find alternate ways to handle these difficult feelings without smoking. Even when cigarettes are no longer a part of your life, the painful and unpleasant feelings that may have prompted you to smoke in the past will still remain. So, it’s worth spending some time thinking about the different ways you intend to deal with stressful situations and the daily irritations that would normally have you reaching for a cigarette.

Ways to create your personal stop smoking plan

Designing your personal game plan

Tailoring a personal game plan to your specific needs and desires can be a big help. List the reasons why you want to quit and then keep copies of the list in the places where you’d normally keep your cigarettes, such as in your jacket, purse, or car. Your reasons for quitting smoking might include:
  • I will feel healthier and have more energy, whiter teeth, and fresher breath.
  • I will lower my risk for cancer, heart attacks, strokes, early death, cataracts, and skin wrinkling.
  • I will make myself and my partner, friends, and family proud of me.
  • I will no longer expose my children and others to the dangers of my second-hand smoke.
  • I will have a healthier baby (If you or your partner is pregnant).
  • I will have more money to spend.
  • I won't have to worry: "When will I get to smoke next?"
Source: Smokefree.gov Online Quit Guide

Questions to ask yourself

To successfully detach from smoking, you will need to identify and address your smoking habits, the true nature of your dependency, and the techniques that work for you. These types of questions can help:
  • Do you feel the need to smoke at every meal?
  • Are you more of a social smoker?
  • Is it a very bad addiction (more than a pack a day)? Or would a simple nicotine patch do the job?
  • Is your cigarette smoking linked to other addictions, such as alcohol or gambling?
  • Are you open to hypnotherapy and/or acupuncture?
  • Are you someone who is open to talking about your addiction with a therapist or counselor?
  • Are you interested in getting into a fitness program?
Take the time to think of what kind of smoker you are, which moments of your life call for a cigarette, and why. This will help you to identify which tips, techniques or therapies may be most beneficial for you.  

Start your stop smoking plan with START

S = Set a quit date.
T = Tell family, friends, and co-workers that you plan to quit.
A = Anticipate and plan for the challenges you'll face while quitting.
R = Remove cigarettes and other tobacco products from your home, car, and work.
T = Talk to your doctor about getting help to quit.

How to quit smoking and manage cravings

After quitting, you may feel dizzy, restless, or even have strong headaches because you’re lacking the immediate release of sugar that comes from nicotine. You may also have a bigger appetite. These sugar-related cravings should only last a few days until your body adjusts so keep your sugar levels a bit higher than usual on those days by drinking plenty of juice (unless you’re a diabetic). It will help prevent the craving symptoms and help your body re-adjust back to normal.

Tips for managing other cigarette cravings

Cravings associated with meals
For some smokers, ending a meal means lighting up, and the prospect of giving that up may appear daunting. TIP: replace that moment after a meal with something such as a piece of fruit, a (healthy) dessert, a square of chocolate, or a stick of gum.
Alcohol and cigarettes
Many people have a habit of smoking when they have an alcoholic drink. TIP: try non-alcoholic drinks, or try drinking only in places where smoking inside is prohibited. Or try snacking on nuts and chips, or chewing on a straw or cocktail stick.
Cravings associated with social smoking
When friends, family, and co-workers smoke around you, it is doubly difficult to quit or avoid relapse. TIP: Your social circles need to know that you are changing your habits so talk about your decision to quit. Let them know they won’t be able to smoke when you’re in the car with them or taking a coffee break together.
In your workplace, don’t take all your coffee breaks with smokers only, do something else instead, or find non-smokers to have your breaks with.

Additional tips to deal with cravings and withdrawal symptoms

  • Stay active: Keep yourself distracted and occupied, go for walks.
  • Keep your hands/fingers busy: Squeeze balls, pencils, or paper clips are good substitutes to satisfy that need for tactile stimulation.
  • Keep your mind busy: Read a book or magazine, listen to some music you love.
  • Find an oral substitute: Keep other things around to pop in your mouth when you’re craving a cigarette.
  • Good choices include mints, hard candy, carrot or celery sticks, gum, and sunflower seeds.
  • Drink lots of water: Flushing toxins from your body minimizes withdrawal symptoms and helps cravings pass faster.

Keep a craving journal

For the first week or so of quitting, make entries into a log book to monitor your daily progress. Note the moments in your life when you crave a cigarette as these are your triggers to smoking. Are there certain people or environments that trigger your cravings? If you smoke, how does it make you feel? Jot down some other things you can do to feel the same way. Later, when you’re having a bad day, you’ll be able to look back at the comments you wrote in week one to get perspective on how far you’ve come.

Get support from others

Let your friends and family in on your plan to quit smoking and tell them you need their support and encouragement to stop. Look for a quit buddy who wants to stop smoking as well. You can help each other get through the rough times. 

Keep the pounds off   

Weight gain is a common concern when quitting smoking. While it’s true that many smokers put on weight when they stop smoking, the gain is usually small, on average 3-5 pounds. Weight gain occurs because the oral gratification of smoking is replaced by the self-soothing mechanism of eating. To maintain a healthy weight, it’s important to find other, healthy ways to deal with stress and other unpleasant feelings rather than mindless eating. Eating a healthy diet and staying active can help you maintain your current weight.

Manage changes in mood

Mood changes are common after quitting smoking as a result of nicotine withdrawal. They will be especially pronounced if you have been using cigarettes to manage your moods and relieve stress, depression, or anxiety, for example. After quitting, you may be more irritable, frustrated, restless, angry, or despondent than usual. You may also experience headaches, trouble sleeping, and difficulty in concentrating. However, these changes usually get better in 1 or 2 weeks as the toxins are flushed from your body and you find other, healthy ways to manage your moods. Let your friends and family know that you won’t be your usual self and ask for their understanding.

Finding the resources and support to quit smoking

There are many different methods that have successfully helped people to quit smoking, including:
  • Quitting smoking cold turkey.
  • Systematically decreasing the number of cigarettes you smoke.
  • Reducing your intake of nicotine gradually over time.
  • Using nicotine replacement therapy or non-nicotine medications to reduce withdrawal symptoms.
  • Utilizing nicotine support groups.
  • Trying hypnosis, acupuncture, or counseling using cognitive behavioral techniques.
You may be successful with the first method you try. More likely, you’ll have to try a number of different methods or a combination of treatments to find the ones that work best for you.

Medication therapy

Smoking cessation medications can ease withdrawal symptoms and reduce cravings, and are most effective when used as part of a comprehensive stop smoking program monitored by your physician. Talk to your doctor about your options and whether an anti-smoking medication is right for you. U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved options are: 
Nicotine Replacement Therapy
Nicotine replacement therapy involves "replacing" cigarettes with other nicotine substitutes, such as nicotine gum or a nicotine patch. It works by delivering small and steady doses of nicotine into the body to relieve some of the withdrawal symptoms without the tars and poisonous gases found in cigarettes. This type of treatment helps smokers focus on breaking their psychological addiction and makes it easier to concentrate on learning new behaviors and coping skills.
Non-Nicotine Medication
These medications help you stop smoking by reducing cravings and withdrawal symptoms without the use of nicotine. Medications such as bupropion (Zyban) and varenicline (Chantix) are intended for short-term use only.

Non-medication therapies

There are several things you can do to stop smoking that don’t involve nicotine replacement therapy or prescription medications: Ask your doctor for a referral or see Resources and References below for help finding qualified professionals in each area.
Hypnosis
A popular option that has produced good results. Forget anything you may have seen from stage hypnotists, hypnosis works by getting you into a deeply relaxed state where you are open to suggestions that strengthen your resolve to quit smoking and increase your negative feelings toward cigarettes.
Acupuncture
One of the oldest known medical techniques, acupuncture is believed to work by triggering the release of endorphins (natural pain relievers) that allow the body to relax. As a smoking cessation aid, acupuncture can be helpful in managing smoking withdrawal symptoms.
Behavioral Therapy
Nicotine addiction is related to the habitual behaviors (the “rituals”) involved in smoking. Behavior therapy focuses on learning new coping skills and breaking those habits.
Motivational Therapies
Self-help books and websites can provide a number of ways to motivate yourself to quit smoking. One well known example is calculating the monetary savings. Some people have been able to find the motivation to quit just by calculating how much money they will save. It may be enough to pay for a summer vacation.

Helping a family member quit smoking

It’s important to remember that you cannot make a friend or loved one quit smoking; the decision has to be theirs. But if they do make the decision to stop smoking, you can offer support and encouragement and try to ease the stress of quitting. Investigate the different treatment options available and talk them through with the smoker; just be careful never to preach or judge. You can also help a smoker overcome cravings by pursuing other activities with him or her, and by keeping smoking substitutes, such as gum and candy, on hand.
If a loved one slips or relapses, don’t make them feel guilty. Congratulate them on the time they went without smoking and encourage them to try again. Most smokers require several attempts to successfully quit for good.

Parents of teen smokers

Most smokers try their first cigarette around the age of 11, and many are addicted by the time they turn 14. This can be worrying parents or guardians, but it’s important to appreciate the unique challenges and peer pressure teens face when it comes to quitting smoking. While the decision to quit has to come from the teen smoker him- or herself, there are still plenty of ways for you to help.

Tips for parents of teen smokers

  • Try to avoid threats and ultimatums. Find out why your teen is smoking; he or she may want to be accepted by a peer group, or want your attention. Talk about what changes can be made in his or her life to help them stop smoking.
  • Be patient and supportive as your child goes through the quitting process.
  • Set a good example for your kids by not smoking yourself. Parents who smoke are more likely to have children who smoke.  
  • Know if your children have friends that smoke. Talk with your kids about ways to refuse a cigarette.
  • Explain the health dangers, as well as the unpleasant physical aspects of smoking (such as bad breath, discolored teeth and nails).
  • Establish a smoke-free policy in your home. Don't allow anyone to smoke indoors at any time.
Source: American Lung Association

Smokeless or spit tobacco is NOT a healthy alternative to smoking

Smokeless tobacco, otherwise known as spit tobacco, is not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes. It contains the same addictive chemical, nicotine, contained in cigarettes. In fact, the amount of nicotine absorbed from smokeless tobacco can be 3 to 4 times the amount delivered by a cigarette.

What to do if you relapse

Quitting smoking didn’t work, now what?

Having a small setback doesn’t mean you’re a smoker again. Most people try to quit smoking several times before they kick the habit for good. Identify the triggers or trouble spots you ran into and learn from your mistakes.  
  • You’re not a failure if you slip up. It doesn't mean you can't quit for good.
  • Don’t let a slip become a mudslide. Throw out the rest of the pack. It's important to get back on the non-smoking track now.
  • Look back at your quit log and feel good about the time you went without smoking.
  • Find the trigger. Exactly what was it that made you smoke again? Decide how you will cope with that issue the next time it comes up.
  • Learn from your experience. What has been most helpful? What didn’t work? 
  • Are you using a medicine to help you quit? Call your doctor if you start smoking again. Some medicines cannot be used if you are smoking at the same time.